Tonight
I took a leap of faith. Doing that took a lot of courage for me. I decided to tell a man how I felt about
him. I told him that I have liked him and been
attracted to him for almost a year, since we first met. Mostly I finally let it out, because it felt
weird just holding it in all this time.
To
be honest it doesn’t matter if it worked out for me or not, because what
matters is that I tried. I followed my
heart and my head (for once in my life).
In
a lot of cases I don’t follow my heart and I always lie to myself about how I’m
feeling in relationships. And then it
comes back to bite me in the ass later down the road. I did this in every serious relationship I have had.
Sometimes I ask my higher power, like tonight, Is it
too much to ask to fall in love during 2013 ? To find someone who wants me, and
doesn't want to change me? I just want
to find someone to cuddle with, to love, to have love me.
There is
a softer side of me then what people normally see. A side that is special and beautiful and
just needs help being steered in the right direction when it comes to choosing men to be in a relationship with. The person I want can't
be with me right now romantically.
However, he wants to be my friend and maybe through time that will grow
into something strong as we both get through this mess of life together.
I
want to be someone who has courage, I want to be someone who doesn’t “sit on
their laurels” and I want to be someone that can make a difference, not only in
my own life but in other people’s lives as well.
Stupid
Movie Quote But: “It’s Christmas and at
Christmas we tell the truth”….
I
want to be the person that lights up someone else’s life. Only time will tell if I will be that lucky
during 2013.
Signing
Off, Happy Holidays Everyone!
Lisa
